You’re going through a divorce, and somewhere in the middle of it — between the paperwork and the emotional weight — you’ve met someone. Or maybe someone has expressed interest in you, and for the first time in a while, something feels good. Now you’re wondering whether acting on that feeling could hurt you legally.
Here’s the straightforward answer: Illinois is a no-fault divorce state, so dating while your divorce is pending isn’t a crime, and no judge is going to deny your divorce because you went on a few dates. But “not illegal” and “no consequences” are two very different things. Depending on how your case unfolds, a new relationship can affect your finances, your parenting time, and the overall trajectory of your settlement.
This is what you need to understand before you make any decisions.
Illinois Is a No-Fault State — But That Only Goes So Far
Since January 1, 2016, Illinois has treated divorce as entirely no-fault when it comes to the grounds for ending a marriage: under 750 ILCS 5/401(a), the one ground for dissolution is that irreconcilable differences have caused the irretrievable breakdown of the marriage. Fault-based grounds — including adultery — were eliminated entirely. Courts don’t inquire into fault or assign blame when deciding whether to grant the divorce itself.
That’s the part most people grasp quickly. The part they miss is that “no-fault” refers specifically to the grounds for dissolving the marriage. It does not mean a judge is blind to your behavior when making decisions about maintenance, property division, or the allocation of parenting time. Those are separate determinations governed by their own statutory factors, and your choices during the divorce — including who you’re spending time and money with — can become relevant in each of them.
How a New Relationship Can Affect Your Financial Outcome
This is where dating during divorce carries the most tangible risk, and it comes from several directions at once.
Dissipation of marital assets. Under 750 ILCS 5/503(d)(2), either spouse can claim that the other dissipated marital assets — meaning they used marital funds for purposes unrelated to the marriage at a time when the marriage was undergoing an irretrievable breakdown. Dinners, weekend trips, gifts, hotel stays — if you’re spending marital money on a new partner, the other side can raise a dissipation claim. And once they establish a prima facie case, the burden shifts to you. You’ll need to prove by clear and specific evidence how those funds were spent, as the court held in In re Marriage of Schneeweis. Vague or general testimony won’t suffice — in In re Marriage of Brown, the court found that general claims that marital assets went toward marital expenses were inadequate to meet that burden.
Maintenance considerations. Illinois courts determine maintenance based on 14 statutory factors under 750 ILCS 5/504(a), and the guideline formula under 504(b-1) applies when the parties’ combined gross annual income falls below $500,000. If you’re the spouse paying maintenance and you’re visibly spending on a new relationship, the other side will point to that spending as evidence of your ability to pay more. If you’re the spouse receiving maintenance, a new relationship that starts to look like something more than casual dating raises a different risk entirely — one significant enough that it warrants its own discussion below.
Property division. Illinois divides marital property equitably under 750 ILCS 5/503(d), and the statute explicitly states that marital misconduct is excluded from the property division analysis. But dissipation is not treated as “misconduct” — it’s a financial claim with its own procedural framework. The court can account for marital funds you spent on a new partner and offset that against your share of the marital estate. The distinction between misconduct (which the court ignores) and dissipation (which it does not) is one that catches many people off guard.
How Dating Can Affect Custody and Parenting Time
If you have children, this is probably the question keeping you up at night. Illinois determines the allocation of parental responsibilities under 750 ILCS 5/600 et seq. based on the best interests of the child — not based on moral judgments about whether a parent is dating.
That said, a new partner who creates conflict with your co-parent, who is introduced to your children before they’ve had time to process the divorce, or who is present during overnight parenting time can become a point of contention. The court’s focus in any custody determination is the child’s wellbeing, and opposing counsel may argue that the circumstances surrounding a new relationship reflect poorly on that analysis. An experienced family law attorney can help you understand how this might apply to your specific situation.
The Cohabitation Trap
This is the single biggest legal risk most people don’t see coming, and it’s worth understanding clearly.
Under 750 ILCS 5/510(c), maintenance terminates automatically when the recipient begins cohabiting with another person on a “resident, continuing, conjugal basis.” What many people don’t realize is how broadly Illinois courts define that phrase.
In In re Marriage of Sappington, the Illinois Supreme Court held that “conjugal” does not require sexual intercourse — a person who is physically incapable of sexual relations can still be in a conjugal relationship. What the court looks for is a husband-and-wife-like relationship that bears a rational relationship to the recipient’s need for support. The appellate court in In re Marriage of Thornton established a six-factor test: the length of the relationship, the amount of time spent together, the nature of activities, the interrelation of personal affairs, whether they vacation together, and whether they spend holidays together.
The practical consequence is serious. What feels to you like a committed but casual relationship — staying over several nights a week, sharing some expenses, spending holidays together — can be characterized as cohabitation under this framework. And once a court finds cohabitation, the paying spouse may be entitled to reimbursement of maintenance payments going back to the date the cohabitation began.
If you’re receiving maintenance, this isn’t a technicality. It’s a financial exposure that can undo months or years of support in a single ruling.
The Emotional Reality the Law Doesn’t Cover
Beyond the legal analysis, there’s a practical dimension worth being honest about.
Most divorces resolve without going to trial. That means the outcome of most divorces depends heavily on the willingness of both parties to cooperate. A new relationship — even one that’s legally irrelevant — can turn an uncontested divorce into a contested one. It can make a reasonable co-parent adversarial. It can take a case that was headed toward settlement and push it toward litigation, increasing costs, timelines, and emotional damage for everyone involved, including your children.
There’s also the question of your own clarity. Divorce requires you to make decisions about property, finances, and your children’s future that will shape the next decade of your life. A new relationship, however welcome it feels, can affect your judgment about what to fight for, what to concede, and when to compromise. That’s not a legal argument — it’s a practical one worth sitting with.
Practical Guidelines If You’re Going to Date
If you’ve weighed the risks and decided to move forward with dating during your divorce, these steps can help protect your legal position.
Keep your finances completely separate. Do not use joint accounts, marital credit cards, or marital funds of any kind to pay for anything related to a new relationship. Dissipation claims live and die on traceability, and the burden of proof will fall on you.
Do not introduce a new partner to your children until the divorce is finalized. Courts evaluating parenting time are focused on the child’s wellbeing and stability. There is no upside to introducing complexity into that analysis while the case is still open.
Be careful with social media. Photos, check-ins, and public posts can and will be used as evidence. Assume that anything you post will appear in a courtroom.
Be transparent with your attorney. Your lawyer cannot protect you from risks they don’t know about. If you’re seeing someone, say so — your attorney needs the full picture to advise you properly.
Understand the cohabitation line. If you are receiving maintenance, be aware that the legal threshold for cohabitation is lower than most people assume. Frequent overnights, shared expenses, and intertwined daily life can cross that line even if you maintain separate addresses.
Talk to an Attorney Before You Make a Move
If you’re going through a divorce in DuPage County and you’re weighing whether a new relationship could affect your case, the best thing you can do is get specific advice based on your specific circumstances. The attorneys at Lafata Law can help you understand where the risks actually are — and where they aren’t — so you’re making decisions with a clear picture rather than guessing.
